carol | January 21, 2009
Here are a few notes about the discipline history of my own family. I will go way back, skipping the latest generations. 
In the early 1900′s, I had two sets of great-grandparents living next door to each other in the country. The families were church-going Protestants (Baptist/Presbyterian). Both couples had ten children. One family (in particular, the father) was viewed as very strict, and they practiced physical discipline, and the other set of parents “never laid a hand on them” [the children]. I admire my great-grandmother who had ten boys and did not use physical discipline (and kept her house immaculate).
Although in the earlier days (in their culture), there were beltings and wood shed switches, it seems that spanking became the style in the late forties and fifties. From my knowledge, at least some of the children from BOTH families that I mentioned, went on to practice physical discipline. I suspect the grown children were also influenced by the way their spouses had been parented.
Physical punishment was also common in the schools right up until the seventies, where I remember the strap being used. My mother recalls only one of her teachers from the fifties who did not use the strap in her class and easily kept things in perfect order. The students gave her their complete and total respect and obeyed her willingly.
I would love to ask more questions from older family members, but spanking does not make a pleasant conversation, and seriously, memories are not always accurate. When spanking occasionally comes up naturally in a conversation, it is usually joked about. I believe corporal punishment causes great shame, and I think the related pain is often forgotten because it is buried.
“Some people find the memory of [being physically punished] so unpleasant they pretend that they were trivial, even funny. You’ll notice that they smile when they describe what was done to them. It is shame, not pleasure, that makes them smile. As a protection against present pain, they disguise the memory of past feelings. In an attempt to deny or minimize the dangers of spanking, many spankers have been heard to argue, ‘Spanking is very different from child abuse,’ or ‘A little smack on the bottom never did anybody any harm.’ But they are wrong … [Most] victims of food poisoning recover with no apparent, lasting ill effects. But who needs it? The mere fact that the person is likely to survive is hardly proof that the experience is beneficial.” Jordan Riak, director, PTAVE
Category: Parenting Discipline |
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