But you’re only supposed to have two children. Three, if you didn’t already get one of each kind.
We usually tell about our pregnancies within the first six weeks. We were living in another city with Baby #1, so we told as soon as we could be in person with our families. With Baby #2, we told everyone on Christmas at 15 days after conception! With Baby #3, we waited until six weeks, so we could tell everyone on Christmas as well. Baby #4 was announced on Valentine’s Day. I told about Baby #5 at six weeks, but the miscarriage had already started. Mainly because of not wanting to worry the children, I waited until 3 months to tell about Baby #6. That was past the first trimester which is the highest miscarriage risk. This sixth pregnancy was announced on Valentine’s as well (technically the night before at a family Valentine’s party.) We told the children earlier that afternoon. They were thrilled. I was actually surprised at how excited they were. At the party, we told my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, two nephews, my maternal grandparents and aunt. Everyone seemed genuinely happy and congratulated us. Later, my paternal grandfather and other aunt happened to call, and they congratulated me as well. My sister was happy for me when we talked on the phone that night. After the party, we went to Derek’s parents and told them. Only his mother congratulated us. I did send personal Facebook messages to a handful of people I thought would care and they all replied positively. My website post brought some nice comments as well. The next afternoon, Derek’s brother called him to congratulate us. Nothing from his sister and brother-in-law. Only one person called me. Thanks, AS. Since then, NOBODY except my mother and grandmother has even mentioned anything to me about the pregnancy. The other night, Derek went to his aunt and uncle’s house (they had congratulated him), and a few of his cousins were there. When learning we were expecting, one did the typical, “Don’t you know what causes that?” and his cousin’s wife only said, “Nobody told me!” No congratulations from any of them. Derek’s work aquaintances are being just as negative. Derek described people as being downright “mean”.
It’s funny that I see this as a small little family. (Derek took the picture.) Others see it as “too many children”, “too expensive”, “too much bother”, “better you than me!”
Just after telling the children about the baby.
Which of my children shouldn’t have been allowed to live? Obviously the one in the womb would be the first to go since nobody can see it or feel attached to it much (and of course, it’s legal to have her killed). So that leaves at least one more that should have been eliminated. (At least that’s what almost everyone seems to think.) Which one?
“How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.”
Mother Teresa“He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.’”
Mark 9:36
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I love the picture!
Papa and I are both very, very happy about our grandbaby. He and I pray for you and Baby every day. ?
We are in agreement with Mother Teresa and Jesus!
I agree with you!
As the oldest of 12, five isn’t even half a family. 
I get the same negative comments from hubby’s family, and strangers. But, *I* have an amazing, supportive, baby-lovin’ family!
I’m still thrilled for you!
Thanks.
Oh, hey…I know that hurts. I’m sorry. That’s kinda how it is for me usually too. Sometimes, in my case, I don’t think that people mean to be silent, even. I sort of get the feeling that past 2 or 3 children they don’t even think congratulations are due. I think they think, “well, it’s no big deal to them, either. They’ve got several kids.” And that always grieved me a little. I try not to hold it against them, try to assume they don’t mean to be hurtful. And then, within myself I’ve just loved our little one all the more, known that they are special and meant to be, even if the rest of the world doesn’t seem to know it. To outsiders, a new baby might not mean much. To her family, she is the world.
Congratulations! (Again!) Take much inner joy from this pregnancy. Forget about all other, outside thoughts. They truly don’t matter.
Wishing you much joy -
Holly
CONGRATS!!!!!!!
I am so excited for you. I hope I can have more in God’s time.
As the youngest of 8 living, I know about the comments. My ridiculous comments about my parents, and of course my parents heard them all. “Don’t you know what causes that”, once my dad replied “if you don’t you’re missing out!”, and that hushed that person up. (my dad isn’t normally like that)
My mother had 8 living, 1 stillborn, and 4 miscarriages. They always shared their news, because ultimately, it IS another soul created in conjunction with God.
I feel sorry for people who don’t understand this.
Ignore the comments. YOUR blessings ARE blessings.
Congrats again!
I think it’s great that you are expecting, and that you are welcoming number 6 into your home and family! Ignore the naysayers.
As the mom of 12 (Adeena is my oldest) I heard all of the rude and negative comments that you can imagine. It got so I didn’t bother telling my mother when I was pregnant with number 11, just because I didn’t want to hear the negative comments again. I finally let her know three weeks before the baby arrived. (My bad! My mom was furious! But she lived far enough away that she never visited, so it was doable. In retrospect, it wasn’t very honouring of me, but I did what I did.)
The neat thing is that your children will most likely be like mine – we always welcome babies, and are thrilled to hear when another grandbaby/cousin/niece/nephew is on the way. I’m sure your children will be delighted with their siblings’ great news some day, and you will rejoice that you raised them all to love life and welcome babies.
Congratulations!
Thanks for the encouragement.
I honestly don’t get it! I can’t imagine why everyone doesn’t feel that each blessed baby is important, whether they be the first or second or last. My Dad was the youngest and tenth child in his family and he is pretty important to all of us! I remember that my Grammy adored him always.
We already love this precious “little one” (as Papa calls her/him), and as your friends have advised, we will just rejoice and welcome the birth. We will not worry about any negative comments. Those folks don’t realize what they are missing!
A baby is a WONDERFUL baby!!
Wow, I am sorry sweet Carol ! children are such blessings…your little baby in side you is a blessing. I am so happy for you and your family and will continually keep you and the baby in your womb in my thoughts and prayers. Some people just don’t have any cooth, or manners or they don’t know how to behave. shame on them!!! BOOOOO!
Hugs your way!!! Mica
Hang in there! People can be judgmental jerks sometimes on the outside, but on the inside, they’re secretly thinking “what’s different about them?”.
I used to think gentle discipline parents were just a bunch of”crazy hippies who let their kids shoplift and steal cars and yell at the police for arresting them” but I was still secretly thinking, albeit only occasionally, “I wonder if they’re actually something to this”.
Your husband’s work friends might be cracking jokes at your family’s expense, but they’re on fire inside trying to figure you out. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if one of them comes up to you or your husband any genuinely asks for parenting advice, or “how do you do it?”
Just keep on keep’n on.
Congrats Carol! I certainly can relate. We rarely go anywhere without some kind negative comment. Although, sometimes we get good comments too.
Thanks y’all.
Yay! Somebody called today (for another reason) and congratulated me!
I just realized that maybe the reason that some people don’t express congratulations is because they truly think it is bad news. But of course, those are the people that don’t know me.
How could anyone ever think that having a baby is BAD news!!! I am so sorry that people are so negative about a true miracle fr God.. keeping you & Derek in my prayers.
I guess it goes right along with the abortion mentality. It is hard to understand, but it is very common.
And thanks.