PARENTING FREEDOM

attachment parenting, homeschooling, gentle discipline
  • .: My Children :.

  • .: Status Updates :.

    Friday, December 21st, 2012 10:23 am

    Hundreds of hurting people visit here every day, most of whom are searching for comfort after loss. Please reach out for emotional support as you begin the healing process. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Let it out. May God be with you.

  • .: Quotes :.

    “Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
    but most of them pick themselves up
    and hurry off as if nothing happened.”
    Winston Churchill
  • Hey, I need a seat!

    | January 31, 2012

    I just turned on a show for C1. She watched for a few minutes, then came over to her toy basket, dumped out all the toys, carried the empty basket over to the TV, turned it upside-down and sat down.

    The Ads Begin

    | January 30, 2012

    I liked this memory trigger, even though it was boring. It did give me a smile at the end.

    Official 2012 Honda CR-V Game Day Commercial – “Matthew’s Day Off” Extended Version

    Email Questions Answered

    | January 30, 2012

    I spend a lot of time replying to email questions. I wish I could quickly come up with profound answers, but as an inspiration writer (meaning that I write as a result of being inspired – not that I inspire others), I don’t do well when asked impromptu questions. (Just ask my Grade 12 English teacher.) Regardless, I thought others might be helped if I posted some of my replies to emails. Don’t worry, I would NEVER do this with personal questions. I am thinking of sharing my quick answers to some of the most general and common questions. I reserve the right to change and edit and eventually make a new article, so this is a work in progress.

    Q. How do I deal with people who think it is biblical to spank?

    A. Online? If you’ve already done your research, just ignore pro-spanking hang-outs online, and don’t visit websites that make you doubt your stand. Visit websites and forums that will encourage you and provide you much-needed support. It takes time to be confident enough to keep from second guessing yourself. You don’t need to constantly question your position until you have the experience to let it roll off your back. You can go back and help the pro-spanking crowd in time. Even if you have the right theological answers, keep in mind, it is the Holy Spirit that changes hearts and minds. Just stand strong.

    Real life? Use Joanne’s bean dip reply. ;-) http://goybparenting.com/?p=57 UNTIL you can confidently make your case. Look for opportunities to build, not undermine, your confidence. You will get good at it in time, especially when others see how kindly you treat your children. (But it is better to get to a point where you don’t care what others think).

    Q. Can you direct me to some books that teach alternatives to spanking?

    A. Although the ages of the children make a big difference, here are a couple of my favorite practical books:

    Parent in Control by Gregory Bodenhamer (older children)
    Discipline Without Distress by Judy Arnall (all ages)

    I have listed more books, as well as websites, on my “Is Spanking Biblical?” page.

    With little kids, the main thing is to get off your butt and act after speaking once, and recognize age appropriate behavior. Mirroring children’s feelings works very well (say what they feel in words). Use common sense.

    With big kids, use “regardless…” and call family meetings when there is (not easily resolvable) conflict (like fighting, chores, inappropriate behavior, etc.) If the issue only concerns one child, then sit down and discuss the problem with the child personally. I like the “red light” problem solving technique for older kids. If I am not too lazy, I call “red light” when I see or hear conflict, and we go through these steps (from Emotional Intelligence):

    STOP
    Calm down.
    Think before you act.

    Say the problem.
    Say how you feel.
    Set a positive goal.
    Think of lots of solutions.
    Think ahead to the consequences.

    GO ahead.
    Try the best plan.

    “Child Discipline” in the News

    | January 30, 2012

    Thou Shalt Not Abuse: Reconsidering Spanking
    http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/article_print.html?id=94719

    Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting?
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/19/are-obedient-children-a-good-thing

    “Why would I want to let a teacher have all that fun?”

    | January 30, 2012

    Why Urban, Educated Parents Are Turning to DIY Education
    http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/01/29/why-urban-educated-parents-are-turning-to-diy-education.html

    “Children of secular, highly educated professionals who always figured they’d send their kids to school—until they came to think, Hey, maybe we could do better… The parents that I meet aren’t afraid to talk about it. They’re doing this proudly… Once we had a child and I realized how fun it was to see her discover stuff about the world, I thought, why would I want to let a teacher have all that fun?”

    | January 30, 2012

    Amazing. We went snowshoeing and had art lessons two days in a row.

    Please pray for Rick Santorum’s 3-year-old daughter Bella who has been hospitalized.

    | January 29, 2012

    Rick Santorum: Family

    Prayers for Bella Santorum
    http://michellemalkin.com/2012/01/28/prayers-for-bella-santorum/

    “All children are a gift that comes with no guarantees,” he wrote. “While Bella’s life may not be long, and though she requires our constant care, she is worth every tear.”

    | January 24, 2012

    Two boys’ hair cuts done. One wee girl could use about 15 hairs cut on her bangs, but I’ll do that during her next bath. Shhh… If I mention the word “bathy”, C1 goes crazy signing the bath sign and squealing. I can’t tell you how useful it is to teach a baby sign language – a dozen signs go a long way… At 16 1/2 months, she is also saying lots of words. She mouths and mimics and repeats. Watching a child learn a whole language is amazing… She is still the joy giver of the family.

    Barack Obama, What daughter wants to build her dreams on the memory of having killed her own unborn child?

    | January 23, 2012

    When celebrating the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, Barack Obama said,

    “I remain committed to protecting a woman’s right to choose and this fundamental constitutional right… While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue—no matter what our views, we must stay united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant woman and mothers, reduce the need for abortion, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.” Barack Obama

    What exactly is wrong with abortion that the rate needs to be reduced?

    “And as we remember this historic anniversary, we must also continue our efforts to ensure that our daughters have the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.” Barack Obama

    What daughter wants to build her dreams on the memory of having killed her own unborn child? How is that equality? Abortion = one dead, one wounded, and one free to continue to sexually exploit. Abortion gives men the right to “use” women without consequences. Abortion exists so men can pursue a lifestyle of sexual irresponsibility without accountability. Abortion exploits women. Men (partners and even doctors) often coerce women into believing that abortion is the only solution. Abortion provides an easy out for the man, certainly not for the woman. Women are often coerced into having abortions. Women are being deceived at the most basic level. The woman is deliberately deceived about the abortion itself, its effects on her and on her living, growing child. After being used by men, women are then violated with the abortion cover-up. Abortion is a violent act against both the mother and the child.

    Speaking of the dreams of our daughters, Barack Obama, don’t you know that we have known for YEARS that unborn babies dream?! Literally!! Why don’t they have the “same rights, freedoms, and opportunities”?

    “Using ultrasound techniques, it was first shown that REM (rapid eye movements) which are characteristic of active dream states have been demonstrated at 23 weeks.” J. Birnhaltz, “The Development of Human Fetal Eye Movement Patterns,” Science, 1981, vol. 213, pp. 679-681

    “REM have since been recorded 17 weeks after conception.” S. Levi, Brugman University of Brussels, American Medical Association News, February 1, 1983

    Public Education: Are you getting your money’s worth?

    | January 23, 2012

    A quarter of children aged 10 to 12 can’t do basic addition and one in five don’t know the difference between ‘there’, ‘their’ and ‘they’re’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2090618/A-quarter-children-aged-10-12-t-basic-addition-don-t-know-difference–re.html#ixzz1kLMKvuU4

    “Half of children aged between 10 and 12 do not know what a noun is or cannot identify an adverb – while almost a third, 31 per cent, cannot use apostrophes correctly.”

    “More than one in five – 22 per cent – could not use the correct version of ‘they’re’, ‘there’ and ‘their’ in a sentence and more than four in 10 couldn’t spell the word ‘secretaries’ correctly…”

    “… More than a quarter of children being unable to add two small sums of money without using a calculator as they can’t do division and basic algebra.”

    “Twenty-seven per cent of children surveyed could not add £2.36 and £1.49 to get £3.85. In addition, more than a third, 36 per cent, could not divide 415 by five and a quarter did not know the answer to seven multiplied by six..”

    “The survey of 1,000 children aged between 10 and 12 found that one in four did not know their times tables, a quarter could not use decimal points and two in five could not spell simple plurals.”

    The results are scandalous, but what I found most ridiculous about the article was that they talked in depth about the parents’ responsibility, when in fact, the parents are generously paying teachers to do this job for them. The children are in the care of teachers for many hours of many days of many months of many years. If the teachers can’t teach the children multiplication, then what good are they? Ahhhhhh…. babysitting.

    I better check to see if my ten-year-old can spell ‘secretaries’. LOL Then again, maybe I should just test some teachers!

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