PARENTING FREEDOM

attachment parenting, homeschooling, gentle discipline
  • .: My Children :.

  • .: Status Updates :.

    Friday, December 21st, 2012 10:23 am

    Hundreds of hurting people visit here every day, most of whom are searching for comfort after loss. Please reach out for emotional support as you begin the healing process. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Let it out. May God be with you.

  • .: Quotes :.

    "Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?"
    Galatians 4:16
  • Exercise Motivation

    | October 29, 2012

    The Couch-to-5K ® Running Plan
    http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

    one hundred push-ups
    http://www.hundredpushups.com/week1.html#.UHwAEoaLL64

    two hundred sit-ups
    http://twohundredsitups.com/week1.html

    Nursing Past One? Are You Nuts?

    | January 8, 2012

    I remember the first time I saw a mother nursing a toddler. The baby couldn’t have been much past twelve months old, but when the mother scooped her up and began to nurse her, she looked so big! My mother and I exchanged glances and later commented on how crazy it was for her to still be nursing. That was something that was not done in our community. Rarely did mothers choose breastfeeding, and if they did, they only nursed a few months at most. This particular nursing couplet was from out of town. As a young minister’s wife with three little daughters, she didn’t know the rules in our community.

    I never gave a lot of thought to breastfeeding. My brother and I had been bottle-fed in the early seventies, but my baby sister (thirteen years my junior) was nursed, ever so discreetly. Back then, the hospital nurses attempted to sabotage the breastfeeding right off by providing and encouraging bottles of glucose water. For the most part, our community was ignorant on the subject of breastfeeding.

    When I became pregnant with our first child, my husband and I attended birthing classes taught by a lovely pro-life Catholic nurse. She recommended a book called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding which I read cover-to-cover. I recall borrowing her copy before ordering my own. I was definitely going to breastfeed. And I expected to do so for a year. (On an aside note, this is when I began my journey of self-education.)

    When my baby was born, I faced the challenges of cracking and bleeding, but I was determined I was still going to breastfeed. Even if it killed me. Even if it was going to hurt like that for the duration. I would do anything for my child. Thankfully, by the time he was three weeks old, the nursing was going smoothly. Completely pain-free. Just as it should be.

    Breastfeeding proved to be a treasured comfort because my baby ended up being colicky. In an effort to help him, I began to read everything I could find about babies. Since this was before the days of the internet, I recall that a lot of my research came from books I ordered from the La Leche League catalog. Dr. William Sears introduced me to a whole new parenting paradigm – a world that combined logic and instincts. I soaked up the information in his books and practiced what he preached. Attachment parenting. Awesome. It was oh-so right.

    During my first year as a mother, I read a couple more inspirational and educational books about breastfeeding: Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing. Add in The Family Bed and The Continuum Concept, and you get the small library that originally inspired me to create an attached environment for my babies. The authors, in their wisdom, introduced me to a road less traveled. Since I lived in a community that was unaware of that road, I journeyed forth alone, and immediately began to experience the rewards and benefits of this new direction.

    If you can accept breastfeeding, and understand its biology, then continuing to nurse past infancy is a perfectly normal progression of mothering. When I became educated on extended nursing, I was completely convinced and confident that it was the right thing to do, even if I didn’t know one other mother who ever considered such a thing. Thankfully, for my children’s sake, I am the kind of person who doesn’t need others’ approval when I know I’m right. As time went on, the added bonus of practical experience simply reaffirmed my parenting decisions. I knew, without a doubt, that my toddlers needed to nurse. No question.

    The strength of the nursing mother/child attachment is incredibly powerful. The depth of the connection between mother and child is not just physical, but can become a truly profound spiritual relationship.

    I am very thankful for breastfeeding. I won’t go quite so far as to say I wouldn’t want to have had babies without being able to breastfeed, but I know for certain that not breastfeeding would be much more difficult and would require much more energy. I am so glad I didn’t have to go the substitution route. I can see how not breastfeeding might result in a mother choosing to have fewer children. They miss out on the easy-breezy, chill-axing part of mothering. I don’t know if I could have physically handled getting out of bed to tend to artificially feeding a baby. I don’t know if I would have been able to mother without the natural hormones that induce nurturing: oxytocin and prolactin. What a design concept! God created nursing mothers to feel oh-so motherly toward their offspring. Breastfeeding is worth it just for the natural hormones!

    I can’t imagine choosing to prepare bottles when I can just sit and hold her close. The convenience is incredible. It’s hard to believe God came up with such a crazy, fast-food for babies. And even though it is instantly available, it is also perfectly formulated nutrition. Unbelievable.

    I won’t list all the physical and emotional advantages of breastfeeding here, but please research the topic and pray that your heart and mind will be open to accepting God’s creative gift of breastfeeding. Mammals around the world rejoice!

    Rarely have my babies fallen asleep or woken up without nursing. Why would I bother to use other methods when nursing worked like a charm for all five babies? Breastfeeding is the best sleeping potion available for little ones. And nursing to wake up gives them that extra boost, like an “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!” energizer. Nursing is better than any band-aid. It soothes and comforts. Nursing is also an incredible discipline tool for toddlers. It calms them, provides them stress relief, and helps them refocus, like a good attitude pill.

    One of my reasons for writing about extended nursing is to give you a picture of a typical day in the life of a nursing sixteen-month-old.

    Bedtime is a pleasure. After completing some bedtime chores around ten (like making sure the pets go out and in, and locking the doors), I scoop up my baby and do the “change” and “diaper” baby sign language while changing her. She starts smiling and pumping her little fists (“milky” in baby sign language), we hop onto the king-sized bed, and lean against the comfy foam wedges to nurse. As is her habit, she grasps my hair, excitedly pats my back (murmuring her enthusiasm), and settles down for a good long nurse on both sides. I usually watch TV or look at my laptop. I don’t hurry to lay her down next to me when she falls asleep.

    Since I am still recovering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, we typically stay in bed a good eleven hours. During that time, she usually wakes twice to nurse during the night. She is more vocal than she used to be in getting me to nurse her (probably because I am lazier), but she still keeps her eyes closed. It is cute to see her rapidly making her “milky” sign with both fists, even though it is hard to see in the dark.

    By the time morning comes, she may or may not want to wake up after a morning nursing session. Same as her mother. We are usually out of bed some time after nine, and head to the kitchen for breakfast. After or during some schoolwork with her brother, she might have a nursing snack between her independent playtime. Lunch usually follows around noon. More play and school, and then she has a nursing session that usually leads into a nap. She nurses another time in her sleep and nurses again to wake up from her nap. Then she is off to play again. Supper is typically between five and six, and she plays pretty hard until about ten. Usually she nurses at least once during the evening, but sometimes she is too busy. She, like her siblings, has more than her fair share of snacks during the day. Her favorites are raspberries, strawberries, and cut-up grapes.

    She rarely has a crisis or conflict that needs a “milky” fix, but when she does, I quickly offer to nurse her, and her discomfort is soon relieved. She learned how to suck her thumb early on, so that helps her recover almost immediately from any baby hardships. At least once every day, she comes to me communicating with her “milky” sign, and is so excited when I completely understand her. Outings, appointments, and activities definitely change the daily routine, and at this age, she no longer needs to nurse when we go out (unless it is a full day trip).

    I often mention one of the most excellent benefits of extended nursing – and that is extended post-partum infertility. The fact that breastfeeding can help space children naturally is a well-kept secret. I think many people view having more than two or three children as highly undesirable, simply because they space their children too closely together. Having two babies at once is hard! Breastfeeding around the clock beyond infancy and sharing sleep will help extend natural infertility. A mother’s ability to cope becomes easier because of the greater spacing between the children.

    An old acquaintance just asked me on Friday how many children I had. When I told her I had five, she nearly fainted and told me she had two, a year apart and could hardly cope. She couldn’t imagine having five. She doesn’t understand that it is a completely different story when the spacing of children is spread out. (I am not saying we shouldn’t welcome all children, it’s just that I believe extended nursing helps to naturally space children in a more manageable, healthier way.)

    Other mothers often wish their babies would sleep through the night, but not me. Instead of a full night’s sleep, I prefer to delay the return of cycles when I already have a baby. And I absolutely prefer to respond to my child’s needs, regardless of the time of day or night.

    The notion that toddlers will never wean is ludicrous. Natural weaning begins with the child’s first bite of food and continues with the mother following the child’s cues to a mutually satisfying completion. Also, contrary to common myths, extended nursing gave me five very independent, secure, and advanced toddlers.

    Nursing past one is so natural and matter-of-fact for me that I can’t believe it is not part of the cultural norm. I guess it is because breastfeeding is just coming back after a couple of lost generations, and also, the stay-at-home lifestyle is not very common in our modern society.

    Parenting can be difficult enough without casting aside one of the most valuable and powerful tools given to a mother of a toddler. Through the gift of breastfeeding, mothers are able to nourish, comfort, and nurture from their very being. I don’t know who benefits more from the nursing relationship, the mother or the child.

    After practicing extended nursing with all five of my babies, I can say with all certainty that I believe breastfeeding a toddler is a very good thing, and thus makes my short list of “Things I Know For Sure”.

    For more on this topic, choose from the following:
    Essay ~ Bible Verses ~ Quotes ~ Blog Posts ~ Books

    Math Anxiety

    | January 2, 2012

    The Cure for Math Anxiety Might Be in Your Head
    http://m.good.is/post/a-fix-for-math-anxiety-might-be-in-your-head/

    Solve Your Conflicts Instead

    | December 31, 2011

    Taking multi-vitamin pills ‘does nothing for our health’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2078861/Taking-multi-vitamin-pills-does-health.html#ixzz1i8hb585f

    I agree with this one, too. It is CONFLICTS that make you sick. BUT, supplementing and eating food that is uniquely needed by you will help you HEAL from sickness.

    By the way, I constantly hear about people awakening in the night and not being able to sleep. The 3 AM insomnia is a GIFT to help you solve your conflicts. It’s the conflict active stage. Peace and quiet and being alone all help you resolve your problems. Use that time to figure out what is bothering you – what is wrong – and begin to take the steps needed to make changes. Get a plan. Otherwise, you’ll keep being up in the night.

    Canadian Judge Ruled Anti-Depressant Led to Murder

    | December 18, 2011

    ‘Prozac defence’ stands in Manitoba teen’s murder case
    http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/12/07/prozac-defence-stands-in-manitoba-teens-murder-case/

    Mothers and Babies Seeing Heart to Heart

    | December 7, 2011

    Mothers and babies can instantly synchronize their hearts just by smiling at each other
    http://io9.com/5865557/mothers-and-babies-can-instantly-synchronize-their-hearts-just-by-smiling-at-each-other?mid=54989

    “…Simply by looking and smiling at each other, moms and babies synchronize their heartbeats to within milliseconds of each other…”

    Hat Tip: Shelley

    Healthcare For Thee, But Not For Me

    | December 7, 2011

    How Doctors Die
    http://zocalopublicsquare.org/thepublicsquare/2011/11/30/how-doctors-die/read/nexus/

    “Years ago, Charlie, a highly respected orthopedist and a mentor of mine, found a lump in his stomach. He had a surgeon explore the area, and the diagnosis was pancreatic cancer. This surgeon was one of the best in the country. He had even invented a new procedure for this exact cancer that could triple a patient’s five-year-survival odds—from 5 percent to 15 percent—albeit with a poor quality of life. Charlie was uninterested. He went home the next day, closed his practice, and never set foot in a hospital again. He focused on spending time with family and feeling as good as possible. Several months later, he died at home. He got no chemotherapy, radiation, or surgical treatment. Medicare didn’t spend much on him.”

    Although I don’t have the stats right in front of me, I understand doctors are less likely to vaccinate their children as well (Dr. Oz for one example.)

    Dangers of Popular Birth Control Pill

    | December 7, 2011

    Yasmin/Yaz birth control pill users launch lawsuit
    http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/EdmontonHome/20100310/birth_control_100310/

    “A group of Canadian women are filing a lawsuit against the makers of Bayer’s popular oral contraceptives Yaz and Yasmin, alleging they were not adequately warned about higher than usual risks for stroke and other health problems.”

    “The pills, sold under the name Yaz and Yasmin, are used by thousands of Canadian women and teens. For most, they work well. But some users are reporting racing hearts, strokes and, in some cases, gallbladder problems leading to surgery…”

    “‘I went paralyzed all down my left side and I lost my ability to communicate. It was terrifying,’ she remembers.”

    Health Canada warns birth control pill has high risk of clots
    http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/health-canada-warns-birth-control-pill-has-high-risk-of-clots

    “‘…Drospirenone-containing oral contraceptives (marketed under the brand names Yasmin and Yaz) … may be associated with a risk of blood clots that is 1.5 to 3 times higher than other birth control pills.’”

    Forget something, Doctor?

    | November 24, 2011

    Report questions Canada’s surgeons
    http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/Report%2Bquestions%2BCanada%2Bsurgeons/5758769/story.html#ixzz1efdgOKZ1

    “Canadians scheduled to go under the knife take note: Canada has the third-highest incidence of “foreign bodies” being left inside patients after surgeons sew them up…”

    “Accidental puncture or laceration during surgery was the highest among the 17 countries where results were reported…”

    “The rate of foreign bodies – sponges, metal instruments, etc. – left in during a procedure, at 9.7 per 100,000 hospitalizations…”

    Empathy

    | November 23, 2011

    I like this one, although if I dig further into their views, I do disagree about their ways to solve the world’s problems.

    The mirroring thing is dead on. It is especially fascinating in regard to child development and also has a big effect when it comes to health problems. You can take on others’ illnesses and conflicts and make yourself sick.

    I have a strong connection to empathy. I tend to take on others’ problems. This is something I am working on in order to best help others.

    RSA Animate – The Empathic Civilisation

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