carol | July 21, 2009
I get discouraged sometimes…
In real life conversations, I RARELY bring up the controversial issues that I freely discuss on my website. In real life, I wait for the Lord to open a door and only then do I say something. My policy is to keep my mouth shut unless someone mentions something that I have experienced and researched. I discuss the issue if I am confident that I can help. (I’m not saying this is right.)
It is nerve-wracking that I never know how other people are going to react when I speak up. Sometimes they end up being firmly closed to hearing another view point, and I feel like crawling in a corner regretting the day I was born. Sometimes a seed is planted, and I may even get to see the fruit. God has used my words to lead people to choose to homeschool, breastfeed, change their views on spanking, abortion, politics, and even Christianity.
My purpose is not to convince people of anything. I am not here to change hearts and minds. I am here to be used by the Lord as He sees fit, even when the journey gets tough. Only the Holy Spirit can change hearts and minds. I may be used by Him, but I have not been given the power to do that myself. Because of this, I have no right to be discouraged. I must be patient.
The issues that are the closest to my heart are not easy. Some of them are downright unpleasant and complicated to discuss. I find it hard to believe they even exist, never mind in the Christian community. It is not fun to have come to conclusions that are not mainstream. There is nothing worse than discussing abortion with someone who has had an abortion. And it sure is hard to talk about spanking to someone who has never questioned the practice. Regardless, I have to follow His cues and focus on doing what I believe is right.
I truly believe that each of my life experiences have been given to me for a reason. And even though I want to help people, they will not always be open to being helped.
I am reminded of the Parable of the Sower from Matthew 13.
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.”
The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
He replied, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. This is why I speak to them in parables:
“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’ But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.
“Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
This is sooooooo my prayer:
LORD, SPEAK TO ME
http://cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/s/lspeak2m.htm
Lord, speak to me that I may speak
In living echoes of Thy tone;
As Thou has sought, so let me seek
Thine erring children lost and lone.
O lead me, Lord, that I may lead
The wandering and the wavering feet;
O feed me, Lord, that I may feed
Thy hungering ones with manna sweet.
O strengthen me, that while I stand
Firm on the rock, and strong in Thee,
I may stretch out a loving hand
To wrestlers with the troubled sea.
O teach me, Lord, that I may teach
The precious things Thou dost impart;
And wing my words, that they may reach
The hidden depths of many a heart.
O give Thine own sweet rest to me,
That I may speak with soothing power
A word in season, as from Thee,
To weary ones in needful hour.
O fill me with Thy fullness, Lord,
Until my very heart overflow
In kindling thought and glowing word,
Thy love to tell, Thy praise to show.
O use me, Lord, use even me,
Just as Thou wilt, and when, and where,
Until Thy blessèd face I see,
Thy rest, Thy joy, Thy glory share.
I needed to remember the many people who have encouraged and supported me over the years, so I collected them in this post:
http://parentingfreedom.com/what-they-have-said/
Category: Abortion, Christianity, Inspiration, Journal 2009, Music, Quotes, Website |
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Funny about that.