Comments on: Cry it Out, Sleep Training: Is CIO Biblical? http://parentingfreedom.com attachment parenting, homeschooling, gentle discipline Tue, 15 May 2012 01:23:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Robin http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/comment-page-1/#comment-105438 Robin Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:43:59 +0000 http://parentingfreedom.com/?page_id=11#comment-105438 Sara, Good for you for listening to your mothering instincts instead of all those so-called experts! In all my parenting, I often compare what's being recommended for my child with how my husband treats me. If I'm crying does he tell me that I'm old enough to handle it on my own? Do I like sleeping all alone at night? If I was having a hard day, would he lock me alone in a room until I could "behave myself?" If I forgot to put gas in the tank and found myself on empty by the side of the road, would he leave me there to "learn a lesson"? If I get frustrated because a project I'm working on flops, would he tell me to "just deal with it"? No! He would react to my foibles with love and understanding. I can do no less for my own precious child when he cries for mama or gets frustrated because his block tower tips or is having a bad day. I am a family physician and during my training worked with one of the top sleep experts in the country. His opinion of Ferber: "He's a selfish jerk who uses the same manipulative mindset on everyone he knows that he encourages moms to use on their babies." I really like The No-Cry-Sleep Solution to help convince people who criticize gentle practices. I don't always agree with it though--I still nurse my toddler to sleep every night, which she does not recommend. I'd also recommend finding a new doctor who will support your parenting practices. Often midwives in your area can recommend some. I have changed doctors and can't believe how much less stress I have now that I'm not trying to decide whether to keep things a secret or argue about it. This is such a short period of your child's life. They spend 18 years with you and 60 or more as adults living on that foundation you build now. It's wonderful that you're taking the time for your daughter! Robin ps sorry for the long reply! your message touched a chord with me Sara,
Good for you for listening to your mothering instincts instead of all those so-called experts! In all my parenting, I often compare what’s being recommended for my child with how my husband treats me. If I’m crying does he tell me that I’m old enough to handle it on my own? Do I like sleeping all alone at night? If I was having a hard day, would he lock me alone in a room until I could “behave myself?” If I forgot to put gas in the tank and found myself on empty by the side of the road, would he leave me there to “learn a lesson”? If I get frustrated because a project I’m working on flops, would he tell me to “just deal with it”? No! He would react to my foibles with love and understanding. I can do no less for my own precious child when he cries for mama or gets frustrated because his block tower tips or is having a bad day.
I am a family physician and during my training worked with one of the top sleep experts in the country. His opinion of Ferber: “He’s a selfish jerk who uses the same manipulative mindset on everyone he knows that he encourages moms to use on their babies.”
I really like The No-Cry-Sleep Solution to help convince people who criticize gentle practices. I don’t always agree with it though–I still nurse my toddler to sleep every night, which she does not recommend.
I’d also recommend finding a new doctor who will support your parenting practices. Often midwives in your area can recommend some. I have changed doctors and can’t believe how much less stress I have now that I’m not trying to decide whether to keep things a secret or argue about it.
This is such a short period of your child’s life. They spend 18 years with you and 60 or more as adults living on that foundation you build now. It’s wonderful that you’re taking the time for your daughter!
Robin
ps sorry for the long reply! your message touched a chord with me

]]> By: TulipGirl http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/comment-page-1/#comment-105178 TulipGirl Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:12:33 +0000 http://parentingfreedom.com/?page_id=11#comment-105178 Sara, you might also be interested in this mega-analysis on the infant sleep / CIO research to date. http://www.infantsleep.org The evidence-based information to date does not support non-response. Sara, you might also be interested in this mega-analysis on the infant sleep / CIO research to date. http://www.infantsleep.org The evidence-based information to date does not support non-response.

]]> By: Sara http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/comment-page-1/#comment-105182 Sara Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:20:38 +0000 http://parentingfreedom.com/?page_id=11#comment-105182 Hi Carol, Thank you so much for your quick reply! I have been feeling the desire to care for my daughter Ava in this way, but as a new mommy have been told it will spoil her and that she is fine. I'm grateful for your post and reply, my husband and I both want to proceed this way from here on out. I am a teacher turned stay at home mommy/ part time tutor, and nurturing my daughter is my #1 priority. Thanks again, God bless. Sara Hi Carol,

Thank you so much for your quick reply! I have been feeling the desire to care for my daughter Ava in this way, but as a new mommy have been told it will spoil her and that she is fine. I’m grateful for your post and reply, my husband and I both want to proceed this way from here on out. I am a teacher turned stay at home mommy/ part time tutor, and nurturing my daughter is my #1 priority. Thanks again, God bless.

Sara

]]> By: Carol http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/comment-page-1/#comment-104544 Carol Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:07:34 +0000 http://parentingfreedom.com/?page_id=11#comment-104544 Dear Sara, Ten months is so very young. I think your doctors are completely wrong. Compare it to yourself. When you are very stressed or upset, do you self-soothe or do you share your pain with your husband or friends, hoping for comfort? A little child's needs are even greater.... Comfort your child. She will be grown before you know it. http://parentingfreedom.com/2011/07/10/my-no-regrets-alternative-to-crying-it-out/ http://parentingfreedom.com/2010/12/05/does-she-sleep-through-the-night/ http://parentingfreedom.com/category/parenting-cry-it-out/ http://parentingfreedom.com/verses-cry-it-out/ Love, Carol Dear Sara,

Ten months is so very young. I think your doctors are completely wrong.

Compare it to yourself. When you are very stressed or upset, do you self-soothe or do you share your pain with your husband or friends, hoping for comfort? A little child’s needs are even greater…. Comfort your child. She will be grown before you know it.

http://parentingfreedom.com/2011/07/10/my-no-regrets-alternative-to-crying-it-out/
http://parentingfreedom.com/2010/12/05/does-she-sleep-through-the-night/
http://parentingfreedom.com/category/parenting-cry-it-out/
http://parentingfreedom.com/verses-cry-it-out/

Love, Carol

]]> By: Sara http://parentingfreedom.com/cry-it-out/comment-page-1/#comment-104543 Sara Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:29:29 +0000 http://parentingfreedom.com/?page_id=11#comment-104543 Hello, Your perspective on this issue is interesting and different from so many out there. Do you prescribe an age limit to when to cease the immediate attention given to a crying baby at night? I have a ten month old and have been told by many doctors that she is completely capable of self- soothing and should be left alone after some cuddling. Do you believe a baby should be attended to whenever crying for as long as they desire? Thanks for your input, and I look forward to your response. Hello,

Your perspective on this issue is interesting and different from so many out there. Do you prescribe an age limit to when to cease the immediate attention given to a crying baby at night? I have a ten month old and have been told by many doctors that she is completely capable of self- soothing and should be left alone after some cuddling. Do you believe a baby should be attended to whenever crying for as long as they desire?

Thanks for your input, and I look forward to your response.

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