Stay-at-Home Mothering, Daycare, Home Business
Mother-Child Togetherness
Mother-child togetherness is an extremely important priority in our lives. We also believe father involvement is a significant factor in the development of healthy children. Being a full-time mother is truly the most important job in the world. You will never regret it for the rest of your life.
We have found that it is very important to set your standard of living so the family is not dependent upon the mother’s income. If this has not been done, examine all your options thoroughly: move, sell things, cut up credit cards, cut living expenses, shop economically, sell the second vehicle, get a cheaper vehicle, find a way to earn money at home. It may be uncomfortable for a while, but the joy of being with your child will be worth it. Do your best to lower expenditures so that you will not have to sacrifice your child to maintain a lifestyle.
According to Jane Liedloff in The Continuum Concept,
“The mothers could, if they realized the urgency of their presence during the baby’s first year, give up the job in order to avert the deprivations which would damage the baby’s entire life and be a burden to her for years as well.”(1)
Do everything you can to be with your baby at least for the first three crucial years. Herbert Ratner, M.D. reports,
“Leading authorities agree that for optimum development the child needs one person as a full-time caretaker for the first three years, a person who has time day and night to devote herself to the needs of the child.”(2)
“One reason I think God designed breastfeeding was for this very reason- so that a baby’s very life would depend on the mother’s physical presence,” (3) says Joannie Ether.
If you want support in your decision to stay at home, read the book, What’s a Smart Woman Like You Doing At Home? (revised edition) by Linda Burton, Janet Dittmer, and Cheri Loveless.
New mothers who plan to go back to work tend to purposely or even unconsciously avoid getting attached to their babies. They fear the natural bond because they plan to leave their child, and it would be too painful if the attachment were too strong. Both mother and child lose in this situation. Please do everything in your power to ensure that the mother/child bond is not damaged. If the bond is entirely intact, only rare circumstances will prevent you from being with your child.
In The Rights of Infants, Margaret Ribble, M.D. says,
“The baby…in the beginning is quite helpless, and his mother must actually function for him for many weeks. Any sudden separation from her at this time causes psychological trauma… Babies who do not have constant mothering are definitely slower and less alert.”(4)
Studies actually indicate that the average working mother brings home very little income, after all the working expenses and taxes are deducted.
Daycare
Parents should be aware of the very serious concerns expressed by professionals that day care can and often does result in detrimental effects on children. Research shows that even children cared for by relatives do not develop as well as those raised by their own mothers.
Former day care providers, William and Wendy Dreskin, wrote in The Day Care Decision that,
“Full-time day care, particularly group care, is not an adequate substitute for time spent with parents, and can be especially harmful for children under the age of three. For two years we watched day care children in our pre-school/day care center respond to the stresses of eight to ten hours a day of separation from their parents with tears, anger, withdrawal, or profound sadness, and we found, to our dismay, that nothing in our own affection and caring for these children would erase this sense of loss and abandonment.”(5)
Studies have shown that children find daycare stressful. The level of the stress hormone cortisol is higher in children at their daycare than at home.(6)
In their book, Hold on to Your Kids, Canadian authors Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. and Gabor Maté, M.D. mention,
“One of the largest studies done on this subject followed more than a thousand children from birth to kindergarten. The more time a child had spent in daycare, the more likely she was to manifest aggression and disobedience, both at home and in kindergarten. The more they had been in daycare, the more these children exhibited counterwill as indicated by arguing, sneakiness, talking back to staff and failure to take direction. Their elevated frustration was indicated by temper tantrums, fighting, hitting, cruelty to others and the destruction of their own things.”(7)
Dr. Philip Ney, a child psychiatrist and a Clinical Professor at the University of British Columbia and Director of the Hospital Adolescent unit compiled the following consequences of day care from several academic sources:
* Children in day care part time had average performance in high school. If there had been no day care in the first years of their life there was above average high school achievement.
* Children in full time day care were more lonely and misbehaved more. They were less compliant and more aggressive with their peers and less able to empathize. They had more fears and more severe temper tantrums.
* Children in day care had more difficulty verbally and had fewer new word combinations.
* Children in day care experience more stress and depression, which suppresses the immune system.
* The physical health of children in day care is significantly affected. This is due to the fact that young children in large groups pass infections back and forth - infections often resistant to antibiotics.(8)
Dr. Harrison Spencer, Chief of the Parasitic Diseases Branch at the Centers for Disease Control said that,
“Depending on the age group, they’re at risk anywhere from 2 to 18 times as much for certain infectious diseases that run the gamut from diarrheal diseases to respiratory and flu-like illnesses. And when children get sick, many times they carry it home to their families.”(9)
In today’s society, it has become a matter of survival for some single parents to find alternate means of care for their children. Fully informed parents will be better able to make their decisions based, of course, on every parent’s desire to provide the best, loving, caring, and nurturing environment for their children.
If you choose mother-child separation, examine the situation thoroughly to be sure your decision is right.
John and Sheila Kippley say that,
“No one ever feels guilty about doing what he or she truly believes to be right. Nor will anyone feel guilty about mother-child separation if it is absolutely needed for family survival.”(10)
Study: Mothers Care Best for Toddlers, Daycare is Disastrous and Even Relatives Are Lacking
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2005/oct/05100401.html
Largest US Child Study Finds Early Child Care Linked to Aggression and Disobedience
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2007/mar/07032607.html
Daycares Don’t Care: How Can a Daycare Love?
http://www.daycaresdontcare.org
Myths of Motherhood
http://www.cwfa.org/articles/8806/BLI/family/index.htm
Home-Based Business
If your situation is such that the very survival of your family is dependent on your income, pray and search for a way to maximize time spent with your children. Have you thought about a home based-business?
Since my husband’s income was sufficient for me to stay home with our children, we were not looking for a home business. What we wanted was better health. It so happened that when we found answers to our health search, we were so excited we wanted to tell everyone. In this way, we were also blessed with a home-based business. The most immediate financial benefit was tax savings, but in a short time, we began enjoying extra advantages and even a savings account. Contact us to learn more about our wellness-based home business.
In the book, The Next Trillion, Paul Zane Pilzer, (economist, author, multi-millionaire) explains why,
“Consumers will turn away from consuming more material goods and instead seek to achieve internal self-improvement – healthier foods, vitamins, nutritional supplements, and fitness programs – and why consumers will create a virtually limitless and sustained demand for wellness-based products. Pilzer explains that the greatest entrepreneurial opportunities will be in distributing rather than in manufacturing wellness products and services. In just the next ten years, U.S. baby boomers will increase their spending on existing wellness-based services from approximately $200 billion to $1 trillion or more.”(11)
To coincide with this exciting trend, is the scientific discovery of glyconutrients and phytochemicals.
“Thousands of research studies have triggered an exploding new science called glycobiology. So huge is the potential contribution of these unique saccharide molecules to supporting overall health and wellness, that the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies have deemed them, ‘the next frontier in medical research.’”(12)
We are very excited about the opportunities that exist in this industry. Helping people become healthier and lose weight is very rewarding. It is extremely exciting to see people’s lives changed in amazing ways.
Perhaps you and your loved ones need the benefits of improved health, or maybe you feel led to pursue this business prospect for the financial rewards. Let us know how we can help. Contact us for more information.
© 2001-2008 This website and its contents are copyright and intended for educational purposes only. The information, research, experiences, and links contained herein have not been compiled by a physician and should not be considered as medical advice. Opinions expressed in the reference books and links may not in all cases reflect the beliefs of Carol@parentingfreedom.com.
End Notes
1. Jane Liedloff, The Continuum Concept – In Search of Happiness Lost, (New York, NY: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1994), p. 160.
2. Herbert Ratner, M.D., Listening, Fall, 1983.
3. Mary Pride, All the Way Home – Power for Your Family to Be its Best, (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Books, 1989), p. 96.
4. Margaret Ribble, M.D., The Rights of Infants, (New York, NY: Columbia University Press, 1943, 1965).
5. William and Wendy Dreskin, The Day Care Decision, (New York, NY: M Evans and Co., 1983).
6. Child Development 74.
7. Gordon Neufeld, Hold on to Your Kids.
8. Dr. Philip Ney, Child psychiatrist and Clinical Professor at the University of British Columbia and Director of the Hospital Adolescent unit.
9. Dr. Harrison Spencer, Chief of the Parasitic Diseases Branch at the Centers for Disease Control
10. John and Sheila Kippley, The First Three Years – The Importance of Mother/Child Togetherness, (Cincinnati, OH: Foundation for the Family, 1988).
11. Paul Zane Pilzer, The Next Trillion – Why the Wellness industry will exceed the $1 trillion healthcare (sickness) industry in the next ten years, (Lake Dallas, Texas: VideoPlus, Inc., 2001).
12. Share the Gift (2000).
Bibliography
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Brooke, Richard Bliss. Mach II With Your Hair On Fire – The Art of Personal Vision & Self-Motivation. Liberty Lake, WA: High Performance People L.L.C., 2000.
Burton, Linda and others. What’s a Smart Woman Like You Doing At Home? Revised edition, Vienna Virginia: Mothers at Home, 1992.
Dreskin, William and Wendy. The Day Care Decision. New York, NY: M Evans and Co., 1983.
Elsberg, Sandy. Bread Winner, Bread Baker – The Secret Of Success Is Not Keeping Success A Secret. Charlottesville, VA: Upline Press, 1997.
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Hunter, Brenda, Ph.D. The Power of Mother Love – Strengthening the Bond Between You and Your Child. Colorado Springs, Colorado: Waterbrook Press, 1997.
Kippley, Sheila Matgen. The First Three Crucial Years. Cinncinati, OH: The Couple to Couple League, 1998.
Liedloff, Jane. The Continuum Concept – In Search of Happiness Lost. New York, NY: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1994.
Pilzer, Paul Zane. The Next Trillion – Why the Wellness industry will exceed the $1 trillion healthcare (sickness) industry in the next ten years. Lake Dallas, Texas: VideoPlus, Inc., 2001.
Pride, Mary. All the Way Home – Power for Your Family to Be its Best. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Books, 1989.
Ratner, Herbert, M.D. Listening. Fall, 1983.
Ribble, Margaret M.D. The Rights of Infants. New York, NY: Columbia University Press, 1943, 1965.
Sears, William, M.D. Keys to Becoming A Father. Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educational Series, Inc., 1991.
The First Three Years – The Importance of Mother/Child Togetherness. Cincinnati, OH Foundation for the Family, 1988.
